Our own natural shine

The clerk at the check-out counter at Safeway asked if I had any plans for this weekend. I thought about it a second, wondering if this weekend was special – a holiday or something.

Finally I said, “No. How about you?”

“Well, I have the weekend off. That’s pretty good.” He smiled.

I smiled. Quick little connect.

On the way out to the car I thought about these connections and my plans and what the days ahead look like. How much did I want to share with Safeway guy? How much did he want to share with me?

In these days of the “town as crier” where we all have a little something to say and a forum to share it in, we are not as private as we once were. We are more obviously connected.

Many of us hide. Or we don’t know what to say, or how to act when someone says something. We have such a hard time communicating. I know I do. But it is worth the effort. As I open up, I see things returning to me in every direction of thought. This reciprocity is an important part of the artistic process for me. Since I don’t have to “be” alive, then all I have to do is share my life. I am not worried about my privacy being invaded. There isn’t much I can do about that anyway, and for the most part people are respectful. We all have a visible line between society and solitude.

Here is a quick glance at my calendar and agenda for the next few months – just so you can see.

I am playing a short set – 4 or 5 songs — with Lambchop at the invitation of Kurt Wagner on May 4th in San Francisco at the Great American Music Hall. And I am in the studio finishing up some tech stuff – building another computer – and writing and recording new music. I have put together a book proposal about MTV the Music Video and my mother’s invention of Liquid Paper. I am reconfiguring the Monkees special we did in ’98, and I connected with John Ware about reforming what is left of the First National Band for a short live tour doing the RCA material.

Let’s see – that’s pretty much it.

I live alone with Dale, my dog. I write and play and there are deep currents that run in my life about Life the Universe and Everything. (I miss Douglas every day.)

I am busy and active, but a little removed from society.

I am posting this on FB and Google+, my chosen SM voices, because I think it is important to connect, and I like knowing the guy at the Safeway is happy about his weekend off.

There is the dark furtive element in all of us.

But there is also the natural shine.

Standing alone in the presence of something wonderful I am filled with joy and wonder. At that moment I think I know what divine love is – that place where all of us just stand and love something like a sunrise or a forest or an ocean view – the light in the eyes of a child – or a clerk.

We do not need to gather or consume or objectify this moment. We do not need to respond or comment to complete the moment. The moment is complete of itself, and there is great satisfaction and happiness in that — our own light.

Selfless.

Effulgent.

Connected.

Or as MBE has it: “Love meeting no response, yet still remaining love.”

It is why I sing.

I’ll see you on May 4th in SF if you are around there. Great American Music Hall.

ITMT, if you get a chance please stop by Videoranch and browse the stuff. www.videoranch.com. Nothing new right now, but we are happy to have you visit, and wave.

And we are happy to know what you would have us know.

~ Michael Nesmith, April, 2012

 

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